Two-and-a-half months home. Two-and-a-half months of laughter, cuddles, silent treatments, frustration, tears, and more cuddles. When someone asks, “how is it going?” I really struggle to come up with a response. Because it’s not something I can answer in one word, or even one sentence. The usual answers: “good” or “it’s going!” don’t cover it. “Good” implies life is all back to normal. And the other, well unless you have adopted “it’s going” doesnt’ mean anything to you.
There is a LOT of good. Like, I-can’t-believe-how-good. But even the good is draining. Connection takes work. Older kids adjusting well takes work. (Heck, us adjusting takes work too!) Younger behaviors (even good ones) in an older body are work. But to say that seems to negate the good that is.
That song “Some Kind of Wonderful” was humming through my head suddenly this afternoon. There is a lot of wonderful in my life. Some kinds of wonderful are pure joy, other kinds are heart-achy and overwhelming. But still wonderful.
My heart is full. There is a “completeness” that is so very satisfying. There are moments when I just want to escape for respite, and moments I want to sit and bask in forever.
Christmas will be wonderful. There will probably be an undercurrent of comparison and stress that Little Man won’t even know he is facing. There will be excitement and laughter and love, too. And afterward, some of us will probably want to nap for a week! And if you’ve been wondering how things are going, the answer is “some kind of wonderful.” Either the good kind, or the hard kind, depending on the day.