What you are about to read REALLY happened to me today.
In my living room 6 students were waiting for me to start class, when I smelled something burning. I figured a little something was on the burner, as I had turned the tea kettle on to make hot chocolate for everyone at the end of class. It wasnt’ a little something.
My big furry oven mitt WAS on a burner, the one I had inadvertently turned on… instead of the one under the kettle. Twelve inch flames were leaping into the air. I had a momentary lapse of judgement and instead of sending all my students outside and getting Molly out of bed, I decided to tackle the burning mitt. I grabbed it with my bare hand and tried to get it to the sink, but the flames were too big and I had to drop it on the floor.
So now, there are flames leaping from my kitchen floor. I begin to stomp on it, and miraculously I did not catch my pants on fire and the fire was out. There was a BIG mess of soot on the floor, but it not occur to me that there would be soot on my shoes. So I walked all around the kitchen, opening a window to throw the smoldering mitt out, and a get a fan, as I was choking on the thick smoke. I even walked into the living room to open windows, leaving dark black footprints as I went.
When one parent walked in 30 minutes later, she said “Whew! When I pulled into your driveway I could smell really strong smoke coming from your house!” So the whole neighborhood knows it too.
And to top it all off, I went back to the salon to have the chic fix my hair because it wasn’t layered right, and now it is even worse, and so short I can’t do anything about it. My usual mantra of “this is all for the formation of my character” is not working so well, at this point. Even the hot chocolate is not as comforting…
By the way, when I went to the kitchen to make the comforting hot chocolate… I turned on the wrong burner again.
I think I need a cook. Time only proves I am dangerous in the kitchen. If anyone knows of a foreigner looking for a place to stay…
Edited to add: I still have the print of the sole of my shoe on the kitchen floor 5 years later to remember this even by. 😀