A post about supportive friends wouldn’t be complete without mentioning my husband.

The one who thinks a “date” of driving me around looking for things to photograph is a fun time. The one who insisted on getting a camera for me so I could pursue a dream of learning to capture beauty. The one who, when I say “so-and-so asked if I want to go do _____” says: you should go. You deserve a chance to get out. I want you to have fun.

The one who says “you must need a neck rub tonight,” and “what can I do to help?” The one who tirelessly watches Jane Austen movies over and over again with me, because he thinks it’s fun too. The one who, when I climb into bed in the winter with ice cold feet, says “put your feet on me to warm up.”

When we were on our photo-snapping date on my birthday, and he commented that it was fun for him, too, I asked him why. He said because we like the same things.

You know, we came from wildly different backgrounds, from music to faith and family. I am classically trained musician; he is an 80’s lead guitar player. He’s a dreamer, and I am a planner. He likes the countryside and I like the town.

But we share the most important things. And a lot of little things. Like Netflix, and popcorn with m n m’s, and long rides on unknown back roads. And we cheer for each other. We work for common ground. We’ve come a long way in 17 years, getting to know each other, as we grow up into ourselves.

It didn’t always come easy. I had to learn to explain to Rich what I needed. He can’t read my mind. And he’s not a woman. 🙂 I learned to help him know how to help me. He now helps to make sure, and make possible, that I can pursue things that fill me back up. This is hugely important for me in the winter months.

Looking forward to many more years of scenic drives, Jane Austen, sky and ocean gazing, and whatever adventures God puts us on, together!

Do you ask for, or explain, what you need from your spouse (or close friends)? Is it easy or hard for you to do?


2 Thoughts on “Day 11: Gonna try with a little help from my friends….”

  • aw, sweet! 17 years for us, too. and no, i’ve not always done well in explaining my needs. but i’m getting better. i have another series i’m reading on chronic pain that i want my hubby to read. maybe i’ll have him read some of your posts, too. he wants the info, but reading stuff that’s too “heady” is difficult for him. and i just get too tired of talking about it 🙂 maybe some blog reading would feel easier for him, lol. it’s worth the effort, as you say. always worth the effort.
    have a great day!

  • Yeah, sometimes I just give him stuff to read. Also back when I was going to therapy, I would repeat some things I learned there and that was really helpful! 🙂 Too funny, 17 years for you too! Enjoy your day!

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