During the Years of Littles, I was a stay at home mom, homeschooler, who taught some piano lessons as a little side gig. One outlet for me was blogging. I blogged about my discoveries and musings. Recipes. Photos. Bible verses.
I developed food allergies, and celiac. I taught people how to transition to allergy free eating. How to use essential oils. I started my studies to become a Pilates instructor.
Then came my Working Years. Which were also becoming the Chronically Ill Years. The kids older and in school, I taught music again in a school as well.
The last of the Four Kids at Home Years. (2015)
Then I studied to be a health coach, when doctors told me I needed to become the type of support person I needed on my health journey, because there weren’t any. Our oldest got married. One started college. Then another one.
I began the Years of Finding Yourself Again, as the Empty Nest Years crept closer. I dove into understanding modern church history, and family history. As I had changed, I found myself revisiting old views and beliefs. About myself and all kinds of things. I teased out and tested old perceptions. I fell even more in love with God’s Word. I finished writing two full length musicals I had started awhile back in the Littles Years. I wrote a book of poems, and got another good therapist.
Reaching Middle Age, and realizing how little I know about the world and everything else. Navigating a Neurodiverse Marriage, getting to know how we’re all wired.
Well, along the way, I stopped Thinking Out Loud.
I think the more I was willing to dig deep into what I thought about things, the less I was willing to go on record with my musings. I had changed my mind a few times! I wanted not just knowledge (I’m a learning addict), I also wanted Wisdom and Discernment.
What is different now? Hmmm let’s see.
I am revisiting things that brought me great joy in past seasons, as I Create this next season. And one of those was Writing.
I turned 50.
I successfully staged for public audiences the two musicals that I wrote, in the past 2 years.
My complex illnesses cause me to sit still more than I like. And Thinking Out Loud can be good company. I hate sitting still, but I do usually find myself thankful for what I end up doing while knocked off my feet! (Like completing those musicals!)
I think it just feels like… it’s time to give myself the time. Time to think in complete sentences, to enjoy the process of wrestling with words to convey ideas. A reason to sit still and give vent to all the stuff going on in my head.
And to mark this season, with the photos, and the stories, and reminders, and gratitude.
Whatever it ends up being. I am thankful to be here, in this season, living this life!
So I’m just Thinking Out Loud.